Homestay allows international students and visitors to live in a Canadian home as a member of the family.
Host families have caring personalities, and a genuine desire and willingness to open their homes and share their families lives and customs with students.
Host families come in a variety of different colors and backgrounds.
Host families can consist of a full family (mom, dad, children),
single parents or single persons.
The following short story will give you insight into homestay life. A very good read for those who are new to being a host.
Homestay Highlights and Hurdles
© Copyright 2001 ESL Magazine.
By Doug Ronson
When host parent Doug Menard got out the mop, the Japanese student staying
at his home rushed to fetch her camera to take a photo of him washing the
kitchen floor. "She wanted to send the picture back to Japan, because
otherwise nobody would believe that a man would do that," laughs Menard.
Homestay - international students living with North American families - is
a recipe for a wide range of experiences: culture shock, joyous
relationships, miscommunication and intercultural learning. "The students
go through a variety of experiences - loving it, hating it, being homesick
and crying," says Barbara Land, homestay coordinator with ELS Language
Center in Houston. "I always tell the students that it's OK to cry."
"Most of them want to be in an environment where they can improve their
English," says Katherine Macdougall, summer housing coordinator at the
University of California in San Diego. "The second reason is that they
want
to experience American culture."
A third factor, although not always stated, is safety. "Many of the parents
of the students encourage them to choose homestay as opposed to residence
because they know they will be looked after," says Mary-Lou Nolte, homestay
coordinator at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario.
Whatever the reason for students choosing homestay, it is clear that it
brings challenges not associated with dormitories or apartments. Before the
students even leave home, they may have totally unrealistic expectations
about life with an American family.
"They come here thinking that all Americans are very wealthy and that the
houses are big and beautiful," says Susan McKelvey, homestay coordinator
with ELS in Philadelphia.
Upon arrival in North America, the students invariably experience culture
shock. Asian students, whose culture is so different from ours, often
suffer most acutely. "We had one student who said that everything was
shocking," says Nolte. “The food was shocking. The fact that the
host
father prepares supper or washes the dishes was shocking."
The differences between their home country and North America can be quite
striking. Usually, participants get their image of American families from
television or the movies and expect their host family to conform to that.
"The family which is one the media is the abnormal, not the normal,"
notes
Land. Alternatively, students expect that their host family will be exactly
like their family in their home country. Some are horrified to find out
that families here are often non-white and may come in all shapes and
sizes, including single-parent families and childless couples.
Often, students come expecting that families will be able to spend endless
amounts of time helping them with their English and explaining how North
American society functions. They get a shock when they realize that both
parents usually work and that in the evening they may be busy taking the
children to soccer practice and music lessons.
Unfamiliar foods can also disturb the student's sense of belonging in the
new culture. For some students, especially Asians, the food is dramatically
different. "Some families serve microwave dinners or hamburgers, and they
find it hard to get used to that," says Macdougall of UCSD. Adds Nolte:
"Families try to find out what they like, but they've signed up for an
experience with a Canadian family so they have to expect Canadian food."
Other common issues include:
-Smoking: "A lot of our families don't allow smoking at all in their
homes," Macdougall says. "There have been cases where students have
been told this, but they continue to smoke in their rooms." Hosts are
inevitably angry when they smell smoke coming from a student's room.
-Family pets: In many cultures, it is not considered clean to have
animals in the house, so students are surprised to see their hosts
petting and even kissing pets. Land, of ELS Houston, compares it to
an American going to live in a country where goats and chickens are
commonly allowed to roam about the house. "It's a big adjustment to
have dogs or cats in the house," she says.
-Courtesy: Rules of common courtesy can vary around the world. "One of
the big issues is letting the host family know if you are not going
to be home on time for a meal," notes Land, "In some countries, you
just sort of do what you want."
Ultimately, time helps students to adjust to what seems like a bizarre
lifestyle in North America. Commented one student: "First, I felt I
couldn't continue homestay because I didn't know what should I do. However,
gradually I could understand lifestyle and realized host family's kindness.
When it was my birthday, they held birthday party for me. I don't forget in
my life."
Many schools are actively helping their students overcome these challenges
and to make their experience in America one to treasure. Some offer
workshops on culture shock or provide counselling to those in need of help.
There is a book available for homestay hosts, The Host Family
Survival Kit. The 215-page book explains the stages of adjustment that a
student goes through and provides advice on handling day-to-day situations.
It is most suitable for hosts of high school students, rather than adults.
Across the continent, homestay coordinators report that most students are
very enthusiastic about their homestay experience. Sometimes students will
move to an apartment after a term in a homestay. Coordinators advise that
hosts should not be offended by this - the student may simply want to try
living independently before returning to his or her native country. In some
cases, homestay leads to lifelong friendships and to North American hosts
travelling to their student's country to visit.
Ultimately, the success of the homestay depends on the student's
willingness to be open to other cultures and on the
host family's ability to understand the student's perspective. Says Nolte
of Queen's University: "They get over the difficulties sooner or later
and
then it's a very valuable learning experience. They realize that there are
many good ways of doing things, not just one right way."
Concludes one student about his experience with a Canadian family: "I don't
have any difficulties to live with them. I had a excellent time. They are
always kind for me, even though they are busy. They tried to show me
Canadian culture and helped me improve my English skill. Thank you to have
introduced wonderful family."